if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
