AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
