Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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