he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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