Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
