people are starting to question the shark bite story
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
