Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She said her name was "party"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
