yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
