Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont even know how to be here
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
