Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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