There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
