Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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