bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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