i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
