I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
