there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My vagina is very pro this idea
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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