my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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