Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
