i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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