But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Randomize
