His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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