he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I touched a dick in church today
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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