if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
