I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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