I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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