It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
