i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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