so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
