she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
