last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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