my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
as a side note pls kill me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
