I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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