with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
