Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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