New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
