Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
