Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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