is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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