And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize