i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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