This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
