i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize