My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
