Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
