Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
