Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
