We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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