feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
