How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
