I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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