Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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