How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
