i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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