whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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