you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
