Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
