I love black thongs
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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