Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Michael Bay diarrhea
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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