Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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