So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
